My Sweet Liam,
I think I am supposed to start this letter with something like, “Are you really four years old already? It’s gone so fast!”
But honestly, it hasn’t…
And I also think I’m supposed to say, “Oh, how I miss those days of your babyhood!”
But honestly, I don’t…
{Though you are pretty dang cute in these pictures!}
Those were rough times for your mama ~ the sleepless nights, the long days, the short naps, the poopy onesies, the outfits reeking of spit-up ~ I’m glad those days are over.
I love that I can now have a conversation with you. I love that you can now tell me what is wrong {though we probably need to talk about your definition of what constitutes a “problem.”}
I love that I am beginning to see the world through your eyes. I love that I can play games with you.
I especially love that you now sleep for 11 straight hours at night!
I love that I am watching my baby become an amazing little person.
But … I have one other confession.
When the ultrasound technician told me you were a boy, I cried.
You see, I thought I wanted another girl.
I am a girl. Your big sister is a girl. I know girl. I know tea parties and ponytails and Barbies and dress-up and make-up and fairies.
I don’t know much about cars or trucks or Spiderman or lawnmowers or dinosaurs or football. {I do, however, clearly know a lot of gender stereotypes.}
I worried, Could I mother a boy?
I guess I’m learning the answer is yes. And I love mothering you.
Why am I surprised that YOU were my snuggler baby, and not your sister?
Why am I surprised by your affection and emotion and tenderness? This feminist is learning a lot from her little boy.
I love your excitement over all things Batman, Spiderman, and Superman. I LOVED throwing you a Superhero party!
Being a Superhero is serious business!
I love your fascination with dirt, and mud, and getting really icky and messy when you go outside. I love your energy and your full-catastrophe approach to all you do.
I love that you run fast and fall down and scream loud and play hard.
I also love that you like big sister’s dress-up clothes and jewelry. I love that you wanted a Barbie.
I love that your favorite purse of big sister’s is the pink and sparkly and blingy one. {I love that you have a favorite purse!}. I love that you play beauty shop with your sister.
I love that you have taught me that I can mother a boy as well as a girl. I love that you have taught me to question my own assumptions about parenting and gender and kids.
I love that you are my little boy.
I cannot believe I cried at the doctor’s office. I cannot imagine that baby being anyone but you.
I love being your mom.
I love you.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Your Mom
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
