I have a {presumably normal} tendency to get a little sentimental while traveling. Perhaps it’s the jet-lag, the disruption to routine, or maybe even the water, but I find myself thinking profoundly about the meaning of travel and engaging in misty-eyed reminiscing about vacations of the past.
So I found it a bit jarring last week when, as I scanned my Facebook feed after tucking my children into bed in our Paris hotel room, I came across an article entitled “Six Reasons Why Vacationing with Kids Sucks.”
I get that the author is a humor writer, and that she intended the post to be tongue-in-cheek. I get that as parents, we long to write about the many aspects of raising children that do, indeed, suck. {I have written a few of those articles myself}.
But holy buckets, this mother’s article led to a sh!tstorm of scathing comments; in fact, the post has now been removed. Apparently, the family vacation is not safe territory for self-deprecating parental humor. Apparently, we’re all Clark Griswolds at heart, choosing to view the family holiday with a myopic nostalgia, as “the most fun-filled old-fashioned” adventure EVER, despite such disasters as knocking over Stonehenge or setting the Christmas tree on fire.
Perhaps we don’t want to admit the hardships of a trip with our progeny because a “vacation” is associated with rest, freedom, and family harmony. It’s supposed to be a break from work and busy-ness. But as any parent knows, a family trip is not a vacation from parental responsibility, which was essentially the message of the now-deleted article.
I am not trying to add to the vitriol, but that post made me a bit sad. Sure, we had our share of National Lampoon-worthy tantrums and meltdowns on our European journey. In fact, I am certain that the day we visited the Palace of Versailles is now on record as the MOST DISASTROUS DAY AT VERSAILLES SINCE 1919 {when the devastating treaty that would help launch the Second World War was signed. See exhibit A}.
Exhibit A: My Facebook Status Update on June 27
“PSA for parents traveling with children: There is a curse going around.
The curse is likely activated by the following: a slightly self-congratulatory conversation about what a GREAT THING you are doing bringing your kids to Europe and how they have been so WELL-BEHAVED.
The curse could HYPOTHETICALLY induce the following behaviors in children: a 5yo having a boneless meltdown at the MERE SIGHT of the line to enter the Palace of Versailles, a 7yo throwing a tantrum in the King’s antechamber because IT IS SO CROWDED and EVERYONE KEEPS BUDGING, a 5yo screaming next to the Grand Canal in the Jardin because he DOES NOT WANT TO SHARE a foot-long ham sandwich with his sister, leading said 5yo to run off and hide behind a tree until a kind French woman asks him if he is lost, and then looks all judging-ly at his mother wondering WHY THE EFF CAN’T AMERICANS RAISE THEIR BEBES TO BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, and then, finally, a 7yo freaking out because THE ICE CREAM IS MELTING and flinging her ice cream cone into the meticulously maintained gardens of Versailles.”
This may or may not be my family in the Hall of Mirrors
Even though my family’s behavior likely would have landed us in the infamous Bastille prison in the days of Louis XIV, I still can’t say that our day at Versailles “sucked.” Our vacation certainly didn’t suck. While I hesitated when my husband first proposed the trip last year, I can now say that I LOVED taking my five- and seven-year-old children with me to Europe.
Was it the same kind of travel we experienced in the B.C. era {Before Children}? NO. Did we have to bring a lot more stuff? YES. Was it AWESOME? YES!
So for all you parents of little ones who may fear that your family sojourn this summer will suck, I present to you…
1. Learning cool things about your kids
I knew my son would love the Tower of London and seeing real soldiers and knights and castles. I had no idea how much he would love art museums. The Pompidou Centre {a modern art museum in Paris} enthralled him — he kept pointing to artworks and saying, “Mommy, tell me about that one!” When we saw a portrait of Napoleon at the Louvre, he implored, “Tell me about him – tell me the whole story!” This history-teacher mama’s heart just burst!
2. Sharing a hotel room with your family
Okay, I warned you about my sentimentality… but there was something so comforting and sweet about sleeping each night with my most important people so close to me. Some of my favorite memories from the trip are the whole-family giggling sessions that erupted over my children making up goofy dances for us at night, or over ridiculous things like my son leaving his toothbrush on the toilet.
Goofy kids in a hotel room
3. Witnessing sibling bonding
Away from friends and playmates for nine days, my children just had each other. They invented wildly fantastic games based on the sites we had visited and the small souvenirs they had purchased — they played “mini Paris” and “mini London” and “knights and dragons” and created museums in our hotel rooms. When my son got tired, his big sister would rub his back or snuggle with him during a subway ride. While there were, inevitably, sibling arguments, these moments of sibling tenderness and affection just overwhelmed me.
Big sister cuddling little brother on the Tube
4. Disconnecting from the digital world
While we could access wi-fi in the hotel at night, my husband and I had no data access on our cell phones during the day. It was a wonderful break from social media and blogging — and it meant that during times when, at home, I would have been tempted to check my email {while waiting at a restaurant or riding the Tube}, I talked and laughed and engaged with my children instead. Funny how it’s when the phone is turned OFF that we get the wake-up call.
5. Enjoying quiet time in the evening
With my young children in bed by 8pm each night, needing a quiet room with no TV shows to disturb them, I got to lie in bed and read and truly unwind at the end of each day.
6. Escaping domestic duties
Need I say more about a nine-day break from laundry, cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping?
Impressing the Parisians with our table manners
7. Suspending {some of} the rules
While certain rules still need to be enforced while on vacation {e.g., don’t hit your sister; don’t talk about, or engage in, farting at the dinner table}, others can be dropped. You can have dessert every night, and ice cream in the afternoon. You can eat pain au chocolat for breakfast. You can stay up past bedtime. Even this rule-following mama loves a rule-breaking week!
8. Seeing the world as your kids do
My husband and I have been to Europe several times, and we thought we knew what would fascinate our children — the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, big cities. And while those did delight our children, so did things like:
- chasing pigeons
- figuring out how toilets flush in different countries {and learning that other countries call it “the toilet” and not “the restroom” — oh, the giggles!}
- discovering that sometimes you have to PAY to go to the bathroom
- watching familiar cartoons dubbed in French
- learning what a “phone booth” is
When I asked my son what the most amazing part of the trip was, he said, “Riding the subway.” A family vacation {like any part of parenting, really} allows you to see the world with new eyes, and discover the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Say cheese!
9. Discovering what your children are capable of
I’ll admit, I was terrified of the 8-hour flight home during the middle of the day. Could my children sit still and behave for that long? The answer, I discovered, was YES. I didn’t even need the surprise toys and coloring books I had packed for the flight! They spent some of the time watching movies, and also reading, chatting, napping, and playing.
I was worried about what they would eat, as Europeans don’t really have a “children’s menu.” While my son pretty much lived on ham sandwiches for nine days, my daughter impressed me with her culinary adventurousness – she ate fish and chips, croque madames, pasta with an unpronounceable sauce and pancetta… all of which were new to her!
My children walked for hours each day {with lots of breaks}, waited in lines, and navigated big cities. Though the trip wasn’t flawless, I am amazed at what great little travelers I have!
And finally, the MOST AWESOME moments were…
10. Experiencing this…
Kisses from my son along the Champs-Elysees
and this…
Modeling the Crown Jewels*
{*not the real Crown Jewels}
and this…
My son sleeping on my lap on the airplane
A vacation with kids won’t be the same as the leisurely trips that you took as a young married couple, or your backpacking adventures as a college grad. It will be different. But it can be AWESOME.
And if you DO encounter a Griswold-style, “full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency,” let it go and throw your ice cream into the air. Soon this will be one of your “hap-hap-happiest” memories with “the jolliest bunch of [cool kids] of this side of the nuthouse.” 🙂
Safe travels and bon voyage!
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