Selfies are everywhere right now. It was the 2013 “Word of the Year.” They fill up your feeds on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook {and probably other social media sites I haven’t even heard of}.
Selfies are described as narcissistic, empowering, and everything in between. The trend that fascinates me right now is the Feminist Selfie, which is intended to depict real women – no enhancements, no filters, no perfect makeup {unless you’re into that kind of thing.} The project #365FeministSelfie was started by feminist blogger Veronica Arreola, in response to an article last fall proclaiming that selfies were “cries for help.” {You can read an excellent overview of the evolution of the project in this article from All Parenting}.
Arreola is encouraging women to take a picture of themselves every day, and, if they want to, share it on social media. It’s about not being afraid to be seen, about not hiding behind the camera, about embracing our perfectly imperfect faces and bodies, and showing the world the many faces of womanhood.
As a feminist, I am in love with the idea of this project. I love Jane at Nothing By The Book‘s tribute to “Naked Face Politics,” as she bravely shares several of her no-makeup, no-staging photos. Reading her post, I thought, “I could never do that.”
I am the woman who can’t go grocery shopping without makeup on. I can’t even go to a 7-freaking-30 am yoga class without putting on at least a little bit of foundation {but just the cheap drugstore kind}, mascara, and lipstick. My selfies usually look like this:
I don’t like being without makeup, let alone being seen without makeup. So I said NO WAY to the #365FeministSelfie. To rationalize my decision, I told myself that the project makes no sense, because, seriously, the Buddha and a whole bunch of other smart philosophers tell us that there really is no such thing as the self, anyway.
Buddhist Selfie
But of course I thought about it some more. What did the Buddha really mean by “no self”? The doctrine of anatta {no self} means that there is not a permanent, unchanging “self” that persists throughout {and after} our lives. We are a collection of emotions, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, habits, mental states, and physical parts, none of which are permanent or are actually “us.”
But obviously we have a “self” in the way psychologists define it, as the cognitive processes that help us organize and make sense of our experiences. And this is constantly changing, too. Yet psychologists still talk about things like identity and positive self-concept. Therapist and meditation teacher Ron Crouch explains that our purpose is to be clear about who we are ~ through meditation we will see that our self {as cognition} continues, but that it is not at the center of our experience. He says this “does not stop us from growing, having fun and being human. It simply gives us greater awareness of the process.”
So maybe the Buddha would have taken a selfie. Taking a self-portrait every day for a year certainly demonstrates the change and impermanence in our lives. It can illustrate our growth, how we have fun, and how truly human we are. And celebrating pictures of our real, unadorned, and unrehearsed selves, at our most pure and most imperfect, can very likely go a long way toward taming the ego and selfish desire. {And as further evidence, as I type this post, autocorrect keeps changing “selfies” to “selfless,” so I’m pretty sure I’m on to something here.}
So this morning, before heading out to yoga, I took a selfie. Mind you, I do have a small amount {for me} of makeup on. But to even be photographed this way was a big step for me. {For clarification, the #365FeministSelfie does not have to be without makeup. It’s however you want to be. But I wanted to do something brave.} Maybe as the weeks progress I’ll be as brave as my friend Jane and all you other women and share my completely “naked face.” Here it is:
No filter. I guess I just have weird lighting in my bathroom.
I even took a post-yoga selfie:
Did I mention it was HOT yoga?
Makeup gone!
And I thought about it some more. I thought, Why just feminist selfies? What about Motherhood Selfies? Part of the reasoning behind the feminist selfie is that mothers are often the ones taking the pictures, and they are not capturing moments with them and their children together. I also think motherhood selfies would be a perfect way to illustrate the realities of motherhood. Because motherhood is this:
This is what sleeping in on a Sunday looks like.
{Technically not a selfie, but if you look really closely you can probably see me reflected in the microwave…}
Motherhood looks like this: Me-time twice in one day! I’m going to Target. By myself! In a velour sweatsuit! With coupons!
Target, I can’t quit you.
And this:
Researching rainforest insects on the iPad.
But in my family, I am usually the parent in the photographs. It’s my husband who is the photographer, and therefore is often left out of the pictures. I told him his assignment today was to take a selfie with the kids:
Fatherhood selfie. How adorable is this??
I wasn’t quite sure how I would capture the more frustrating moments of motherhood with selfies. I had the idea of sharing pictures like this: {because I am a bit of a neat freak and it annoyed me to come home from Target and see this}
An abandoned and messy table…
… and boots and hats and snowpants not put away.
But when I actually looked at the pictures, the messes didn’t look so bad. And then I thought, SERIOUSLY!? This is what you are complaining about??? It looks like evidence of kids having fun playing out in the snow, and then drinking yummy hot chocolate. Things are pretty good in this family. What’s upsetting is that you were at Target in sweatpants while this happened! I think motherhood selfies can provide both a glimpse of reality and a healthy dose of perspective.
So I’m on board {fashionably late, but on board}. Feminist selfies, motherhood selfies, fatherhood selfies, Buddhist selfies! I won’t post pictures here everyday, but you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter if you’d like to see what I’m sharing.
What about you? Are you doing the #365FeministSelfie? Do you like taking selfies?
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
