I think it’s pretty amazing that we live in a world where there are researchers who devote themselves entirely to the study of the things that make us happy. What practices bring us joy? How do we craft a meaningful life?
For much of its history, psychology focused on brain and behavior disorders, determining how and why our well-designed system could frequently malfunction. In the last two decades or so, the field has also begun to focus on how we can ensure optimal functioning — not just treating the problems, but creating the conditions that lead to happiness.
**Important Note: I am in no way implying that 1) constant happiness is our goal, or 2) unhappiness is to be avoided. Though researchers use the word “happy,” I prefer the word “joyful.” To me, “happy” is a temporary state, like sad or angry or tired. “Joyful,” on the other hand, can be more of an enduring trait. For example, notice the first entry for the definition of each of these words on Dictionary.com:
Joyful: full of joy, as a person or one's heart Happy: delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing
So while I use the word “happy,” in accordance with researchers studying what they call “The Science of Happiness,” please keep the above in mind. We can be happy and sad and everything in between, and still approach life with a joyful heart.
And, luckily, research tells us that there are several things we can incorporate into our day-to-day lives that help us do just that!
1. Mindfulness
You’re not surprised, are you? I could fill this entire blog with the research demonstrating the link between mindfulness practice and elevated mood and well-being.
Mindfulness, through our careful attention to the breath and the body, helps reduce our heart rate and slow down our breathing. Deep belly breathing (especially if we make our exhales slightly longer than our inhales) activates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, the so-called “calming response.” We feel less stressed and more at ease.
And mindfulness, through our careful attention to our thoughts and feelings, helps us see the activity of the mind as just that — passing phenomena in our field of awareness. When we’re sad, we know we are sad, and that this is what sadness feels like … and we watch it shift and transform. When we’re happy, we know we are happy, and that this is what happiness feels like. As James Baraz so perfectly states it,
Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
James Baraz
And mindfulness — present moment, nonjudgmental awareness — is the fundamental “prerequisite” for the next four practices.
2. Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the simplest practices there is that can boost our happiness. Time and again, the research shows that people who take time to “count their blessings” are happier — and NOT just because happy people have so dang much to be thankful for! Well-designed studies show that it’s the practice of gratitude that causes the improvement in mood.
And the best news? You don’t have to do it every day! Research shows that practicing gratitude just ONCE A WEEK is enough to have a demonstrable impact on your happiness. So start keeping a gratitude journal, or make thankfulness part of your family’s routines — gratitude is, as all of these suggestions are, a PRACTICE.
3. Awe
Most of us, according to the research, only experience awe once or twice a week. Awe — the feeling of being in the presence of something larger than oneself, or of taking in something that doesn’t quite fit with one’s preconceived ideas — is a generally pleasurable experience, and it’s also good for us! Research shows that when experience awe, our sense of self-importance and feelings of entitlement go down, and we are more inclined to act with generosity. It also reduces inflammation in our bodies!
When do we experience awe? Again, the research tells us that we’re likely to feel awe when 1) we are outside, in the vastness of the natural world, and 2) when we witness unexpected acts of goodness and kindness.
So get outside, look for the good, and feel the awesome!
4. Play
We’re just WAY TOO SERIOUS sometimes! As much as we complain about stress and busy-ness, we somehow feel like we’re doing it wrong if we’re NOT frazzled and exhausted every day!
Make time for PLAY, for the things that are just fun and goofy and make you laugh. Play a game with your kids, put some music on and dance, watch some laugh-out-loud videos on YouTube, listen to a funny audio book, get creative and color or craft or paint… just do something for the sheer sake of it being enjoyable… whether it’s “productive” or not.
(See this article about bringing humor and playfulness to meditation!)
5. Connection
We are social mammals. We thrive when we have meaningful connections with other people. In fact, having a strong social network has the same impact on your physical health as quitting smoking!
Nurture your relationships through quality time with your friends and family. If geography allows, aim for face-to-face time (not FaceTime), eye contact vs. iContact. We thrive on touch (be a hugger!), and the give-and-take of in-person social connection.
Seek out meaningful ways to be involved in your community — perhaps at your kids’ school or through classes for adults (check with city offices or the public schools). Volunteer, or find other ways to engage in kind acts for others.
Want to be happier? Then…
Breathe. Give thanks. See the awesome. Laugh. Connect.
Isn’t science amazing?
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
