Be a Daymaker
There is an upscale salon in my area called Juut {which I can afford to patronize only when I have gift cards from Mother’s Day.} The first time I visited, I noticed that every employee was referred to not only as a stylist, or a masseuse, but as a “Daymaker.” I think I rolled my eyes.
And then a few years ago, I heard David Wagner, the owner of Juut Salonspas, speak at a charity event. He told a story from early in his styling career. It was the end of the day, and a client came in to have her hair done. He asked if it was for a specific occasion, and she said no. She just wanted to look nice. So he gave her a scalp massage, and washed and styled her hair while they talked and joked and laughed. She happily hugged him goodbye.
A few days later, Wagner received a letter from his client. She had come in that evening with the plan to commit suicide when she got home. She wanted her hair to look nice for her funeral. But the kindness he had shown to her and the good time she had at her appointment gave her hope that life could get better. She then checked herself into the hospital.
There was not a sound in the room as Wagner told this story. What if…?, he asked us. What if he had been too busy or distracted to engage with his client that night? What if he had been thinking about his own evening plans and simply went through the motions, and hadn’t connected with his customer?
He told us how this experience transformed him. At his salons, all employees learn to be Daymakers. Every hairstyle customer gets a neck and shoulder massage. Every client is offered coffee or tea or water. These “small touches” in customer service are really the BIG things. Every interaction with people is a chance to make someone’s day.
I realized that what initially sounded to me like a cheesy way to make employees feel valuable is actually a powerful and intentional approach to transforming lives.
What’s the Nicest Thing Someone Ever Did For You?
When people are asked what the nicest thing someone has ever done for them is, the answers are often surprising. It’s usually the smallest things that are remembered – a smile, a kind word, a hug.
I have been blessed by many acts of kindness in my life, but there is one that stands out from my first year of teaching. That first year was TOUGH. I remember staying up late to grade papers and plan lessons, struggling to “control” my classroom, and thinking all my students hated me.
I had one student in particular who challenged me every day; she was the kind of student who could sway an entire classroom, and for 86 minutes every day she and I locked into a power struggle. I’m sure youth and inexperience and insecurity {both hers and mine} were to blame. I admit I was relieved when she was no longer in my class at the semester change.
I began again in January with a new crop of students {due to our block scheduling}. I worked with one student in particular who struggled in my history class. A few weeks into the term, I learned she was the sister of The Challenging One from the previous semester.
My unskillful mind immediately panicked at this revelation, projecting months and months of more attitude, defiance, and resistance. But, as is the case with most of our worries, they did not come to fruition. My new student was a delight.
On the last day of school, she gave me a note. She spelled my name wrong, but her note made me cry.
I still have it:
She thanked me for being her mentor, and for helping her become a better person. But she especially thanked me for not judging her for the “unbalenced [sic] teacher/student relationship” that I’d had with her sister {that’s putting it mildly!} She wrote that I inspired her to do her best because she never felt I was trying to get rid of her.
I love this letter for so many reasons. Teachers treasure notes like this, but to me this one symbolized my first year of teaching coming full circle – from the challenging student who, yes, made me cry at the beginning, to reconciling and inspiring that student’s sister at the end.
This letter reminded me, at the end of a rough year, of why I wanted to be a teacher. I have kept this letter as a reminder to myself that I may never know which students I will ultimately impact. It is my reminder that every day is an opportunity for connection. It is a reminder that, in the end, what we all want is to be seen and to be heard.
I fundamentally believe that the reason we are on this planet is to connect and engage with others with kindness and compassion. Not just with our family and loved ones, but with all the other people we encounter throughout our day: students, customers, waiters, flight attendants, teachers, doctors, mechanics, and the people in line with us or at the gym with us or walking on the same street as us.
We have a choice every day whether we greet other people with a smile and genuine connection, or with rudeness and disengagement.
How can we make someone’s day?
- We can put the phone down and converse with the person ringing up our groceries.
- We can give a sympathetic “I’ve been there, too,” to the mom whose children are throwing a fit at Target.
- We can ask our students or our coworkers or our hair stylists or our children’s dance teachers how their day is going — and really mean it and truly listen to their answer!
- We can be patient when waiting for others and gracious when waiting on others.
- We can smile at a stranger.
- We can listen more than we talk.
- We can empathize more than we judge.
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13:2
Perhaps we will never know if our actions were so important as to literally save someone’s life, but we all have the opportunity to save someone’s day. We all have the opportunity to act with kindness and compassion. We can all be Daymakers.
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
