We’ve all heard this advice, haven’t we? We need to learn to say “No,” to scale back our commitments so that we aren’t so overstretched that we don’t have time for ourselves and our family.
And sometimes, that advice is really easy to follow. Coach my daughter’s soccer team? “No!” {Her dance team would be a different story.} Lead another committee on top of all my other commitments? “No!”
But other times, it’s really hard to say no. Because it’s something we really want to do.
Last week in Chicago, I attended a presentation by Maria Ross of Red Slice, and author of Rebooting My Brain. She spoke about learning to slow down and prioritize her life after experiencing a brain aneurysm five years ago. And she said something that really resonated with me.
She told us we have to learn to say “No” even to the things we want to do, not just the things we hate to do. Not just the things it’s easy to say no to.
And that is so hard when we want to live our best life, live life to the fullest, and embrace every opportunity.
I am already feeling some anxiety from saying “yes” to so many great opportunities. Writing my blog. Contributing to other blogs and book projects. Attending professional workshops. Developing teaching materials for textbooks.
But I also extremely excited about these new adventures! I have always wanted to write, and now I’m doing it! I love developing materials that will help other teachers. I am honored and humbled by the requests to contribute to projects for which I have so much passion.
I am torn. I fear I may be taking on too much, but I don’t want to say “No” to the things I have always dreamed of doing. I fear that saying no to an opportunity will later turn into deep regret.
I don’t have easy answers, and to be completely honest with you, it will be hard to follow this advice about saying no. But Maria Ross’ presentation did make me think hard about what I choose to commit myself to.
Ross reminded us that being patient and slowing down doesn’t mean stagnation. I need to learn to be patient and celebrate the small milestones rather than biting off more than I can chew as I work to balance parenting, blogging, writing, teaching, and living.
I sat there in the conference room last week, listening to this presentation, pondering the irony of the lady blogging about mindfulness and living in the moment realizing she’s spending a lot of time chasing goals and reaching for the brass ring. It was a great reminder to not get so caught up in the busy-ness of doing. Sometimes, we just need to relax into being.
Ross encouraged us to focus on one road, one path at a time. Focus on two or three of our most important goals, and be patient with the rest.
I want to follow that advice. On this last day of July, I am all too aware that tomorrow we will enter August: school-supply shopping, football camp, fall soccer practice, and teacher workshops. Life will soon become even busier.
I am hoping that I can strike a balance between pursuing new passions, and savoring the journey as I do so. Because the journey is what it’s all about.
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I would love to hear from you: How have you learned to say “No” even to the things you want to do? How do you decide what to commit to?
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
