An important part of my mindful parenting practice is teaching mindfulness and gratitude to my children.
Today I’m sharing some mindfulness practices we have established in our family. {For reference, my daughter is 6 and my son just turned 4}.
Establishing a Quiet Place
This table is in our Living Room/Study, and we call it the “Quiet Place.” It’s where my children can go when they are feeling overwhelmed or angry, and need to calm down. We keep their mind jars on this table, as well as a small statue of the Buddha. I tell my children that the Buddha taught people how to calm their minds and their bodies by breathing, and that they can sit in front of this table like the Buddha and just breathe. We also have the pebble meditation cards on the table from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book Planting Seeds. These simple meditations {below} are great, and they really help my daughter calm down when she reads them.
The other night, my daughter threw a fit in the kitchen, and, after yelling at her father, stormed out of the room. I followed her, anticipating a nasty wake of destruction as she ran out in a huff. I found her instead at the Quiet Place, reading the cards, and calming down.
When she woke up really cranky the other morning, she said, “I need you to sit and breathe with me.” So she sat in my lap in front of the table, shook her mind jar, and we breathed quietly together. She read through the cards, and then went off to eat her breakfast in a much better mood.
Dinnertime Gratitude
Gratitude is an important part of our mindfulness practice. I love Brene Brown’s research that reveals that the most joyful people around are those who make gratitude not an attitude, but a deliberate practice. Our family practices gratitude at dinner. Each night, we take turns sharing what we are thankful for. This has become such a fun tradition that my son usually asks the moment we sit down for dinner, “Daddy, what are you thankful for today?” I love this family ritual ~ it makes me pause and think about what I am grateful for each day, and my children’s responses provide me with a precious window into their inner lives.
We started this nightly ritual in November, when the school sent home a note explaining that they had been talking about thankfulness at school, and we should ask our children what they are thankful for.
The first time we did this, my daughter smiled sweetly and said, “My family.”
I turned to my son and asked, “What are you thankful for?”
Without batting an eye, he replied, “Hot dogs.”
I love hearing what my children are thankful for each night. Sometimes it’s heart-warming and sweet ~ they’re thankful for their family, or their parents, and then they’ll go around the table giving hugs. Other times it’s a bit more … random. My son has been thankful for not being shocked by an outlet, for the treehouse not getting knocked down in a storm, and for having a belly button.
My little Buddhas have even added to this practice. A few nights ago, my daughter asked us each to share not just what we are thankful for, but what we are hopeful for. And I just melted when, last night, my son turned to me and asked, “Mommy, what’s your happiness today?” So last night our ritual evolved into sharing hope, joy, and gratitude.
{Lest you get the idea that our family dinners are eerily perfect and harmonious, these beautiful moments are likely to be followed by whining about not liking the food (quinoa, again??), or desperate pleading to know the exact amount of food to be consumed before dessert can be earned.}
Finally, I have created pages for our summer binders where we are writing down each week the things we are grateful for ~ I’ve done my own gratitude journals in the past and it is so fun to look back on thankful moments!
Additional Practices with Children
For additional ideas for practicing mindfulness with your children, you can read my post here about teaching relaxation and calming strategies to kids to help them deal with anger and frustration.
You can also read this post about creating mind jars to teach children about calming their minds with their breath.
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This post is part of the Living a Mindful Life Series. You can read other posts in the series here.
How do you practice mindfulness or gratitude with your children?
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
