Do you have a morning routine?
For some of us, the “routine” might be getting up and drinking coffee while checking email and catching up on Facebook and Twitter. While the coffee part is lovely (and likely necessary), the immediate dive into social media and email probably isn’t.
What if we made meditation our morning routine?
This might require a big change in our morning habits.
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg describes the “habit loop,” which explains how habits form and are maintained. There’s a cue that triggers a behavior, for which we are rewarded, making it likely we will continue the behavior. It’s simple Psych 101, but although it’s one of those things that’s easy to understand, it’s often hard to actually make the change in our routine.
Our morning habit of checking email and social media is likely maintained by “likes” on Facebook and the warm fuzzies of connection with others. But it isn’t always rewarding. Checking email or Facebook in the morning leads to increased stress, reminding us of the people we need to respond to, the interesting articles we don’t have time to read, or activities we didn’t do with our kids.
Duhigg says the secret to changing a habit is to keep the cue and the reward the same, but change the behavior. Here’s my new morning habit loop:
When I used these strategies to make mindfulness and meditation part of my morning routine, I saw helpful changes pretty quickly. I used to pop out of bed eager to see if there was a response to an email I had sent the day before. Now I get out of bed craving the yummy stretches that I’ll soon be doing {a bit of cat and cow pose, child’s pose, and downward dog have been a great way to wake up my body.}
The seated meditation part of the morning has been a bit more challenging. I’ve always described myself as a “struggling meditator.” My mom gave me this t-shirt that perfectly depicts my meditation sessions:
At first I thought meditating in the morning would be easier — if my body was still a bit sleepy, my monkey mind would be too. But oh, no! That little primate is raring to go even at 5am!
My first morning meditation session was a bit of a struggle. I began focusing on gently counting my breaths, and my mind started in on its incessant chattering…
One, two… my ear itches… my neck itches… three, four, five… my cheek itches… WHY AM I SO DAMN ITCHY? was there a lice notice last week? dammit… one, two, three… crap, my alarm clock is going off upstairs! four, five… I need to brush my teeth before I do this tomorrow morning… one, two…The next session was also a challenge:
one, two… should I change my Facebook profile picture? three, four… I have to sneeze! what if I have to sneeze at the Zen meditation retreat next month? are you allowed to sneeze? what if the person next to you sneezes? are you allowed to say “bless you”? probably not… one, two…You get the picture! I liken meditation to those episodes of SuperNanny where the parents first tried time-outs with their toddler. The parents would often drag that screaming munchkin back to the time-out corner more than 50 times! And that’s what meditation can feel like when we begin — constantly leading our active monkey mind back to the calm and stillness of the breath.
I noticed after several days, once the novelty of the change in my routine was over, that the toddler in my mind settled down. The first few mornings I could sense my restlessness, the impulse to move and shift around, wondering SERIOUSLY, WHY IS THAT DAMN TIMER TAKING SO LONG! Yet after a few more days, I was surprised at how quickly 20 minutes had passed. And then, after several days of ‘easier’ sessions, the restlessness would come back. It’s always changing.
I also noticed that starting my day with stillness made me calmer throughout the day. I was more patient with my children during our week at home. And I didn’t spend my day worrying about when I would fit in my meditation session.
I love the quiet and the darkness of the house when everyone else is still sleeping — it makes my morning routine feel more like ritual, a special time that’s just for me.
I think we would all be a bit better off if we began our days with silence and stillness.
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
