Sometimes you’re just sitting in a movie theater, munching your popcorn and Milk Duds and enjoying an animated feature with your children, when a truth bomb lands in your lap and you nearly spill your $5 Diet Coke.
This happened to me last weekend as I watched Small Foot with my children. It’s an animated tale of a society of Big Foot (Big Feet?) whose entire world is turned upside with terror and confusion when they are confronted with the notion that the Small Foot (Feet? ugh.), a.k.a. humans, actually exist. Their elders literally wrote it in stone that the Small Foot didn’t exist, so a good deal of animated, existential angst ensues upon this possible discovery of the human world.
Because the power of the elders, and, as they’ve convinced themselves, the safety of their community, depends entirely on the Yetis being terrified of humans, they do everything they can to keep the Big Feet living in fear. They deny what’s in front of everyone’s eyes and insist that the Small Foot isn’t real. “Perhaps it’s just a mutant yak?” they offer. “Ignorance is bliss,” they remind their citizens; when a difficult question arises, you just push it down until you can’t hear it anymore.
Clearly, these village elders are not mindfulness instructors. Luckily, the young rebellious yetis channel their inner bohemians, pursue Truth, and teach everyone that living in fear is NOT OKAY.
They proclaim,
“The only thing stronger than fear is ….
curiosity!”
Bam! That was the truth bomb that landed in my lap. I missed the next animated musical sequence of the film as I pondered these words of wisdom delivered by a cartoon Sasquatch.
It makes so much sense!
The only thing more powerful than fear is curiosity.
It makes sense on an obvious level, of course. If you’re taking a walk and allofasudden you freak out because you’re sure there’s a ginormous snake in the path in front of you, it makes sense to exercise some curiosity (at a distance) and determine it’s just a stick.
But it makes sense on a deeper level, too. Many of our difficult and powerful emotions are rooted in fear — anger might actually be a fear for your safety, while sadness is often a fear of loss. Depression is rooted in a fear that things will never get better, and worry may be a fear of isolation.
We can live our entire life with fear in the driver’s seat.
Fear is a fast driver, and is usually very willing to take the wheel. But fear is a terrible navigator. Fear is all about action, not reflection. Fear is not at all curious — fear just screams OMG! and hits the gas pedal before the passenger (that’s you) even realizes where it’s going.
With mindfulness, we can hit the brakes long enough to bring curiosity to our fear. We can take a deep breath and ask:
- What is this?
- What does this feel like?
- Am I clearly seeing this situation?
- Am I telling myself a story about what’s happening?
- Is there something here that I am NOT seeing?
- I feel afraid, but what is ALSO here? What’s beneath the fear?
When we bring curiosity to our fear, we cultivate wisdom. We see clearly. We can make a choice about how to act, putting ourselves back in the driver’s seat.
Fear feels uncomfortable — and for good reason! It’s the body’s way of telling us that something in our environment needs our immediate attention.
So we need to pay attention.
If there’s an immediate threat, take action.
But if there’s a sense that there’s something more going on here…. If it seems you’re being encouraged to be afraid of something…. If you feel like you’re afraid way too often….
It’s time to get curious.
Fear can also be uncomfortable because we resist it: we turn away from it, we pretend it’s not there, or we try to convince ourselves that it’s not a big deal.
But resistance merely exacerbates our suffering. As mindfulness teacher Shinzen Young mathematically puts it,
suffering = pain x resistance.
The cure for resistance is curiosity.
Curiosity is a gentle turning toward discomfort. It’s a willingness to see things as they actually are. Curiosity doesn’t mean you have to like or accept what is happening, it just means you’re ready to learn and engage.
As the Big Foot eventually discover, the Small Foot creatures aren’t trying to destroy them. I love how the movie depicted that, since we can’t understand what the other creature is saying, we mistake their engagement for aggression:
Certainly we face bigger and more pressing fears today than the fabled existence of hairy mountain creatures.
But the fundamental principle applies: the only thing stronger than our fear is curiosity.
So let’s get curious.
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
