Transition Time: The Hardest Part of My Day

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photo-12It’s 5 pm. Do you know where your sanity is?

For busy moms, it may be nowhere in sight.

As a teacher, I am well-versed in the concept of “transition time.” A big part of teaching is carefully managing transitions from one activity to the next.

In fifteen years of teaching, I have learned many strategies for managing these times of transition in my classroom. Why, then, after seven years of mothering, do I still struggle with my transition to home each day?

The hardest part of my day is the hours from 4pm to 6pm. My transition time. From work to home, from teacher to mother, from European History to Green Eggs and Ham.

There’s so much to be done in those short two hours! Pick up the kids, clean up the mess in the house from the morning, make a nutritious-and-kid-friendly dinner, drive to dance class or soccer practice, and, hopefully, spend quality time with my children! I’m tired from a day at work, the kids are tired {and sometimes crabby} from their day at school, and the dog is going crazy because someone is finally home. Is there a way to reduce all this anxiety and stress?

Quick answer ~ I think there is! But I’ll get to that in a minute….

The Witching Hour

I’ve heard many parents call the hour before dinner “the witching hour.”  Why is this such a hard part of our day? Well, I’ve been up since 4:50am, I’ve been on my feet teaching all day {which I love to do, but it is tiring}, and, according to various estimates, I’ve already made over 1000 decisions during the day!

I’ve also learned from Susan Cain’s Quiet that, as an introvert, I crave solitude and quiet after a stimulating day at work {just thinking about that actually happening makes me laugh}. I think back to my years of teaching before I had children, and I can actually remember thinking, “I don’t know how my colleagues with kids do it! I’m so glad I can come home and relax.” And I would proceed to chill out on the couch and unwind by watching reruns of Beverly Hills, 90210 on SoapNet {I hope that one’s not making you laugh!}

Perhaps more importantly, this time of transition is also a hard time of day for our children, especially if they are in school or daycare all day. They have spent the whole day following the rules: raise your hand, stay in line, wait your turn, use your words, put on your listening ears, use your walking feet, and don’t hit your friends with your train {that last one might only apply to my son}. They spend their days with teachers who love them, but even then, our kids sense that the approval of their teachers is important. It’s not the same unconditional love they get from their parents.

After eight hours of following the rules, they’re ready to let their guard down. While they may worry what their teacher thinks of them when they misbehave, they know that misbehavior at home, even if it results in a timeout or other consequences, won’t make Mommy and Daddy love them any less. In fact, I sometimes remind myself that my children’s misbehavior at home {after being perfect (on most days) at school} is a sign of how loved and comfortable they feel at home. As Brene Brown might put it, all day they have to work to fit in at school, but they know they belong at home.

Taming the Witch{ing Hour}

So, how can we make the transition to home time easier? Well, I just confessed that I really struggle with this time, but I do have two strategies that I am working on:

  1. I posted a few weeks ago about taking time for quiet play with my kids when we get home. Spending time coloring or reading together is relaxing and a great way to reconnect after a day apart.
  2. I hope you are not getting tired of my Brene Brown kick right now, but what I read this week in her latest book, Daring Greatly, has made me rethink this part of my day. Brown writes that though we all struggle with anxiety and stress, there are different ways we can respond. We can either “find … ways to manage and soothe the anxiety,” or we can “change … the behaviors that [lead] to anxiety,” which is what the Wholehearted do!

Can I reduce what needs to be done in those crazy hours? Can we schedule fewer weeknight activities for the kids? Can I be okay with one quick-and-easy-and-maybe-even-not-so-healthy dinner a week? {Even my therapist, a few years ago, told me I was way too unrealistic about the demands I put on myself about nutritious home-cooked meals each and every night!} Can we come up with a better morning routine that doesn’t leave an afternoon mess?

I feel better just thinking about these new ideas. And luckily, I now have the whole summer to ponder our calm transitions to home for next year, and come up with a detailed plan, and flow-charts, and schedules….

Damn. I did it again.

What’s the hardest part of YOUR day?

This is my first post for the Finish the Sentence Friday link up! Click here to read other posts about our challenging moments of the day.

{This post contains affiliate links. You can read my disclosures here.}

Sarah Rudell Beach
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