Well-Worn Paths: 5 Ways to Disable Your Autopilot

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Buddha in snow
The well-worn path to the garden Buddha

We’ve gotten A LOT of snow here in the last few weeks.

So much so that it’s been difficult for my little pups to navigate their way around the backyard.

At first, they were almost up to their heads in snow. But eventually they began to create little pathways around the yard — a circuitous route to the shed (which must ALWAYS be investigated when outside), a winding path to the garden Buddha, and several loop-de-loops to arrive at that one place in the yard where we once saw a bird and therefore must always inspect.

Now they have lots of well-worn paths through the backyard… and even though the snow has settled and condensed, making a departure from their well-trod course possible, they rarely venture off their haphazardly made tracks.

Why don’t they go back to frolicking the in snow in all directions? Why do they keeping following the same paths, even though it takes longer to get where they want to go and it doesn’t really make sense and it’s not even that effective?, I wondered.

And then the mindfulness teacher in me realized, “Oh, yes, this is exactly what we do, too.”

Following the well-worn path is easy. No decisions need to be made — in fact, no real thinking needs to occur at all.

The well-worn path is comfortable and known and “easy,” even if it sometimes leads to discomfort and uncertainty and difficulty.

I’m not even talking about big, “taking the road less travelled” kind of stuff. All the small, daily habits we engage in (or don’t engage in) form grooves in our brain and we keep enacting the same patterns day after day… whether they are effective or not.

We may continuously check our phone without any need to do so (up to 150-200 times a day, according to some studies!).

We may react to the unpleasant behavior of our children with anger or yelling or issuing hollow threats, even if that’s not how we want to parent… and even when we know it doesn’t really work.

We may have every intention of going to the gym, or meditating for 10 minutes, or cleaning out that closet, but if it’s not part of our routine to spark that particular kind of joy, we’ll just revert to whatever our default behavior is: hitting the snooze button, staying too late at work, or shoving in more clutter and slamming the door.

It’s not that having some parts of our day on autopilot is necessarily a bad thing. It’s actually quite a relief to be able to brush your teeth, make lunches for the kids, and get yourself dressed in the morning without having to expend a lot of cognitive effort. These well-worn paths are sanity savers.

It’s when the autopilot tries to drive through difficult terrain that we get into trouble.

Because what does autopilot really mean? It means there’s no driver! There’s no one in control, just a bunch of algorithms.

If we look carefully, we might find that we’ve actually ceded a lot of our day to habits and routines… and that means that we spend a lot of time not really attending to what we’re doing. We spend a good portion of our day — studies indicate almost HALF — not present!

When we’re not present, when we’re not attending to what is actually happening in this present moment, we’re more likely to act in ways that are unskillful, especially if it’s a situation that autopilot is totally ill-equipped to handle.

We need to cultivate the flexibility to be able to stick to the well-worn path when it makes sense to do so, and to have the clarity to know when a new route is needed.

Changing our habits can be difficult… but amazingly rewarding. The first step is to simply notice our habitual response patterns, ways of avoiding, or unskillful behaviors.

5 Ways to Disable Your Autopilot

Change It Up

In mindfulness classes, we often introduce the idea of “habit interrupters,” small ways that we can begin to see where we’re living on autopilot and what it’s like to get back into the driver’s seat. Choose a habit that’s pretty well grooved and see if you can change it a little bit. Try driving a different way to work, changing up your route on your walk with the dog, brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand… go wild! ?

See what it’s like to change up a simple habit. See what it feels like to NOT be on autopilot.

Investigate

Pretty much every behavior we engage in has a purpose. When you notice a habit that isn’t very… skillful, see if you can identify why you’re doing it. Try asking yourself:

  • How does this behavior make me feel?
  • What do I get from this? Am I somehow “rewarded” by this behavior?
  • What happens immediately after I do (or don’t do) this behavior? What happens a few minutes, hours, days later?
  • What need of mine am I trying to meet by engaging in this behavior?

Once you can identify the need the behavior fills or the purpose it is attempting to serve, you can begin to consider alternative, more skillful ways to meet your need.

Cultivate Awareness

Choose a simple activity that you do every day that can serve as a reminder to be present, something like turning on a light or washing your hands. Every time you do this simple activity, focus on being present.

Take a deep breath and simply notice what you’re doing.

Check in with how your body feels. Relax any place that feels tense.

Notice any thoughts or feelings that are present.

Ask yourself, “What is needed of me right now?”

Check Out Your Stories

Our thoughts also form well-worn paths.

Just for one day, set an intention to pay attention to your thoughts, especially when you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed or stuck. See if you can find recurring themes in the stories you tell yourself during the day. You may notice stories about not having enough time, or not being good enough, or never being appreciated, or perhaps wondering why everyone else seems to do so many things wrong.

When you notice a story, ask yourself if it’s true. Are you seeing the whole story? Is there information you’re not considering? What would be a more skillful and helpful interpretation?

Meditate

When we sit to meditate, we pause and simply notice what’s happening. We notice thoughts and stories and sensations and feelings. We make space for everything to be as it is. We take a moment to see things a bit more clearly.

When we practice this each day, we get better at it. We get better at paying attention, at noticing when we’re falling into a habitual pattern that’s not really helpful or skillful. The more we’ve practiced being present, the more likely we are to find presence in a difficult and charged moment of our day.

We practice when it’s easy so we can do it when it’s hard.

Changing our habits is hard. We can start by learning how to see our autopilot in action. We can start by experimenting with small moments of awareness throughout our day, and with simple disruptions to our well-established patterns.

For my little puppies, the snow will soon melt and they’ll be free to roam the entire yard with wild abandon. Our paths are little more entrenched, but we have the same possibility of freedom ahead.

Sarah Rudell Beach
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