“In the real world your … brain actively writes words on every single person or image you see. And the words and phrases that [y]our brain write[s] on people, projects, and goals … change not only your perspective but your motivation, engagement, and creativity.”
Shawn Achor, Before Happiness
What are YOU writing?
What’s YOUR story?
Is this a manic Monday? Or is it the beginning of a productive week?
Our words matter. Our perceptions of our lives matter.
Studies show golfers who perceive the hole as bigger are more likely to make the shot than those who perceive the exact same hole as smaller. People who know stress can sometimes have benefits (such as heightened awareness or a greater sense of meaning) actually experience fewer physical and mental symptoms of stress than people who focus on the negative effects of stress.
So what story do you tell yourself?
Is your child throwing a tantrum because she’s willful and stubborn, or because she’s hungry and tired?
Is this insomnia, or is this an invitation?
Is this rain, or is it rejuvenation?
Is this a delay, or is it downtime?
Are you busy or are you blessed?
In her new book Savoring Slow, Shawn Fink (a.k.a. The Abundant Mama) says “we must consider the stories we’ve been telling ourselves for years about how we spend our time and how we wish to spend our time.”
Shawn asks us to reframe how we see our time, our days, and our lives.
Do you think you have to be busy to be productive?
Is a slow day, spent doing nothing in particular, a “waste of time”?
Sometimes, Shawn tells us, we need to savor slowness. To do that, we may need to take a look at our stories.
I have just enjoyed a vacation with my family – and I enjoyed it because I have learned to rewrite my “vacation” story.
“Vacation”: from the Latin vacare, meaning “to be empty, free, at leisure.”
For me, “vacation” used to mean “sight-seeing and cramming in everything we possibly can every single day.” Let’s make this airfare worth it! Let’s make what we’re paying for this hotel room worth it!
And that definition often resulted in cranky co-travelers. Last year, we took our kids to Paris. On the first day, we went to the Orsay, and then the Louvre, and then Notre Dame, and then we walked through the Tuileries, and then we went to the Luxembourg Gardens and went on the rides…. You can probably understand why by day 3 we had THE MOST TRAGIC DAY AT VERSAILLES SINCE 1919.
On the fourth day, I realized we needed to slow down. And there was much rejoicing.
This vacation (a road trip through South Dakota) was different (for many reasons). It was a trip.
“Trip”: from the Middle English trippen, meaning “to tread lightly.”
We spent time just relaxing in the hotel room. We went swimming at the hotel pool (which probably makes the money for the hotel MORE worth it….) We tread lightly.
The Badlands
The vistas and views — the sights — helped me reframe.
“Frame”: from the Old English fremmen, meaning “to help forward, be helpful, benefit.”
How we interpret what we see in the world can move us forward, or it can set us back. When we reframe, when we look at something anew, when we investigate the labels and words and stories and see a different perspective, we truly benefit.
Just getting onto the interstate and seeing the vast stretches of open land – full of corn and wheat and grass and cows, instead of soccer and meetings and errands and work – I feel myself opening up. I can breathe.
Taking in the vastness of the Badlands, hearing my daughter exclaim, “Joy is overtaking me!” reminds me of what’s important.
I experience AWE — the sense of being in the presence of something vast, something beyond my ordinary frame of reference.
I am present.
My daughter slips a bit on the path, and says, “A little bit of Fear is overtaking me, too.” (Thanks, Inside Out).
Mostly JOY here.
Which is pretty much what AWE is. Joy and Fear.
We tread lightly. We saw new parts of the world. We saw familiar parts of the world in new ways.
We reframed. We created new stories.
We savored slow.
It was AWEsome.
I am honored to share this post with you as part of the SAVORING SLOW book tour. You can read more posts about savoring a slow day from some lovely bloggers here.
- A Mindful Approach to New Year’s Resolutions - January 13, 2020
- Just This Next Step - December 16, 2019
- WAIT: A Mindfulness Practice for Waiting in Line - December 9, 2019
