You Might Be a Left-Brain Buddha If… {10 Ways to Tell!}

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Vegas BuddhaIn starting this site, I had a picture in my mind of what a “Left Brain Buddha” is ~ analytical, “Type A,” reflective, cerebral, and a lover of the life of the mind.  I’m certainly not implying that other Buddhas, yogis, and mindful types are not reflective and analytical.  But for left-brain Buddhas, the invitation to “live in the moment” and not get carried away by the stream of thoughts in the mind is not just a challenge, but it feels like a loss.  We LOVE the life of our minds!

For example, many of my books on mindfulness recommend practicing mindfulness while doing an ordinary chore, such as washing the dishes.  My first reaction to that suggestion was, “When I’m doing the dishes, I don’t want to focus mindfully on the smell and feel of the soap and warm water, or the motions of my body.  I want to reflect on that interesting story I heard on NPR on the way home, because I think I could incorporate that into my Anthropology class.  I want to use the time to plan out the rest of my evening, the clothes the kids will wear tomorrow…”  You get the picture.

But we know we should do it mindfully.  We read and think and know about mindfulness, and all that left-brain activity gets in the way of our actual practice of mindfulness.  Such a challenge!  And that’s why I started this blog!

Think YOU might be a Left Brain Buddha?  Well, you might be if…

  • Your monkey mind {your mind jumping from thought to thought like a monkey jumping from branch to branch} doesn’t seem to imitate the actions of just any ordinary monkey ~ it’s “a drunken crazed monkey with St. Vitus’ Dance who has just been stung by a wasp.”  {Thanks to Huston Smith, The Worlds Religions, for a great description of the monkey mind!}
  • You set your meditation timer for 5 minutes.  You begin meditation.  You are convinced you’ve meditated for 5 minutes.  You open your eyes ~ 3:37 remaining.
  • You can’t stop thinking if you are in the correct posture in yoga class {does my back foot have to be exactly at a 45-degree angle?  Do I need a protractor?}
  • You have no fewer than 5 meditation apps on your phone or iPad.  And just maybe you’ve spent more time configuring the various settings ~ interval bells, tones, the precise mixture of background sounds to accompany your meditation {birds + ocean?  or zen chant + flute?  so many possibilities!} ~ than you have actually meditating. {This one could be just me…}
  • You have at least 10 books about meditation and mindfulness. {See above about possible ratio of time reading to time actually meditating}.
  • When others in yoga class are frustrated about the chatty instructor who explains the meaning of each pose, the physical and neurological benefits of the pose, as well as the history of the pose, you are loving the yoga-lecture. Yoga + Intellectual Stimulation = Awesome!!
  • A meditation session might play like this in your brain: “Breathe In…. Breathe Out…. Okay, count the breaths…. One … Two … Was today recycling day?  I bet we forgot! … Oops… no judgment … back to the breath … Three … Four … No, I think it was last week … Because now I remember taking it out in the snow, and why is it still snowing in April? … Damn it!  Oops, no judgment, back to the breath … Four … Wait, didn’t I already do Four? Crap …”
  • In Zumba, or dance, or yoga class, if the instructor proclaims it’s “free-style” time {do your own dance, pick your own pose, move to your inner rhythm}, you may find yourself immobilized.  You want directions.  You want structure.  You need time to think about your inner rhythm.
  • In a genuine attempt at mindful parenting, you focus on playing Barbies as if it’s the only thing to be done, being with your child, in the moment, and … {enter Type-A left brain}: You know, these Barbie toys and accessories are scattered everywhere!  I bet those empty storage bins in the garage would be perfect for organizing the Barbies!  “Hey kids! Look what I found!  Here’s a big container for all the Barbie furniture, and here’s a smaller one for the Barbies themselves, and … OH!  I’ll get some small Ziploc containers to organize all the Barbie accessories: one for shoes, one for tiaras, one for clothing…. Isn’t organizing Barbies fun?” {This may or may not have actually happened in my home during Spring Break}.

And finally, you might be a Left-Brain Buddha if…

  • No matter how challenging your yoga, meditation, and mindfulness practices are for your left brain, you love the yummy sensations of calm, peace, and bliss that come at the end!

I’d love to hear from you! Can you add any?  This could be fun!

Sarah Rudell Beach
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